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Football Season is Officially Here

Another NFL season is about to begin, and football coaches across this great land are determined to unearth any information that will give their team an advantage. Well, the Walter Reed Army Institute of Research just released a study that may help them find that elusive edge. After years of analysis, the scientists claim that due to circadian rhythms, football players perform best at night.  Both mental acuity and physical agility increased significantly in test subjects once the sun went down, according to the study's findings.

Now, I am sure these researchers were meticulous in their work and maybe these results will prove useful to coaches, but something about this doesn't make sense to me. The study says that the improved nighttime skills are due to circadian rhythms -- I mean, why would an insect's dancing ability determine a team's football aptitude? I guess it's just a mystery of science.