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We all like to dish them out, but sometimes we don't feel great using them. Not because our targets don't deserve disparagement, but because often our word choice seems childish. In the past, scholars looked to the classics to help class up their put-downs. Frequently they employed the Latin suffix -aster (which originally denoted something of inferior or poor quality) to deliver the appropriate erudite insult. Hence, a scribbler of silly verses was called a poetaster, or a man who was clumsy with his calculations was labeled a mathematicaster. And this technique can still be used to deliver sophisticated slanders for everyday occurrences. For instance, let's just say you happen to come across a feeble attempt at a Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome villain, well that's an example of a Master Blaster-aster. Or suppose that white wall you just spackled is already starting to crack, then you could rightly blame the alabaster plaster-aster.

Of course, any inadequate attempt at an insult would be mocked as a diss-aster.