A medieval millennial may have once said, "Parting is such sweet sorrow", but we can always make sendoffs much more sweet than sorrow if we have a snazzy way to say goodbye. However, when it comes to our dear animal friends, there has been little progress in the field of farewells since Bill Haley and the Comets 1956 Top Ten hit "See You Later, Alligator". So to fill in this glaring gap, we present the top 5 ways to part from your pet (with explanatory notes):
- Hasta mañana, iguana
- It always important to help your pet improve his Spanish.
- See you soon, ya big baboon
- This probably shouldn't be used with other people in the room.
- Fare-thee-well, my dear gazelle
- Antelopes are notoriously old-fashioned.
- Take care, teddy bear
- This is useful if you have a pet koala, otherwise known as the teddy bear of the eucalyptus tree.
- Chop chop, lollipop.
- It's probably not healthy to keep a piece of candy as a pet, but we don't judge.
And that pretty much covers every situation for the typical American pet owner. So now that we've cured your valediction affliction, you may wonder what advice we have for greetings. Well, we're still researching that difficult topic, but if you do happen to own a pod of prim and proper lobsters, you could always address them with:
Salutations, my crustaceans!